The Insanity of God, a book by Nik Ripken, has brought me face to face with what I've known to be the overall challenge in my walk with God. It's not a speed bump, but a propelling forward to the surface of the questions in my own heart of my relationship with God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I can no longer avoid the 'why' and the 'why not' questions of my own spiritual walk. I've sensed for several months that there is more to this 'walk with God' and with the comforts of being a Christian in America, in my own little corner of the big world. I've considered, although only superficially, those who live in countries where they are challenged, and persecuted, for their faith in Jesus. I've wondered what empowers them to suffer and even die for their faith under brutal and harsh regimes, while I can't open my mouth to talk about Jesus with the person sitting next to me at work. Why are they so committed, and I am so comfortable?
I finally 'saw' the reality, at least for me, of Matthew 7:22 & 23...."Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in Your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from Me, you evil doers!' These saints, persecuted, deprived, tortured, experiencing loss beyond human ability to comprehend, all for the love of Jesus, for the glory of His Name. They KNOW Him! They were, and are, willing to love their lives even unto the death. 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.' is a reality of their lives that they live and die by as they share their faith in Jesus, understanding that they well may loose everything.
My heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who will save me from this body of sin and death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ!
Earlier this week I was on Main Street, Poughkeepsie, on my way to Mickey D's. There were several, as I would describe by looking at them, 'down and outs' sitting on a wall nearby. It struck me that these, who the world would label 'least of these', were still souls that God cared about and wanted to be with Him in heaven at the end of the age. Down-trodden, probably mentally challenged, shabby, poor....yet God does not look at their outer appearance, but He looks at their hearts. Are they even aware of the possibility of a relationship with God? Who will tell them? Who will meet their physical needs so that they are not distracted from their spiritual needs?
And what about the black/African-American community? This people group is a real turn-off to me, with their loud music, and mumbled hip-hop words that are supposed to pass for English. I admit God, because you know the secrets of my heart, that I have a 'come in on my white horse and rescue them attitude'; condescending at the least, and repulsed at a total other level. Yet God, You touched me earlier this week with a sense of despair, of how can they be reached? I admit too, God, that I lump everyone into one big heap of humanity when I looked at the black community in Poughkeepsie. Help me Holy Spirit! As I discover deeper wells in my relationship with the Triune Godhead, open the doors that resist opening, and give me insight into the hearts of 'these people' that need the eternal realization of Your love and desire for them.
Why? Why of all the places on the earth, did You cause me to be born here, in America, in this time and this place? One thing that I'm sure of, is that You did not call me to the foreign fields, but to the harvest fields of my own backyard. That I am sure of.
A few days ago, I asked You to 'show me Your glory', and You did in a way that was completely unexpected......You showed me Your glory in the lives of those, around the world, who give up everything for the Love of Jesus. Help me, Holy Spirit, to see Your glory in my own life.
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